you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize