He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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