i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
