the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
