note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
