If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize