Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
