ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
