the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
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Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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