so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
