You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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