yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
