Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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