My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
