Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
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