i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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