Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
so let's talk penis.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
