My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
