I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
