i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
