I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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