Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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