matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize
