Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize