i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
