Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
