I feel like I'm in dance class right now
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
