bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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