I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
