I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
