We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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