My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
