I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
