So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize