She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
