i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
