somebody snuck up and got me drunk
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
