How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
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Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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