Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Randomize
