i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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