He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
