i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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