just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
