Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
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