i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
PANTIES FOUND
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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