i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
