they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
