I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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