But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Pappa wants mamma naked
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
