we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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