I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
