We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
home. puking in laundry basket.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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