all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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