I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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