No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
