Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
