bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
