a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
