Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
false alarm. still invincible.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
