i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
