how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
