I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
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dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
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Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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