dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
bring money and cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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