I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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