We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
