and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
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