butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
