Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
