Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
